Post by Joey Smith on Aug 10, 2006 14:17:05 GMT -5
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
>
>The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University
>chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
>professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
>why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
>
>
>Bonus Question:
>
>
>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
>cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
>
>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
>if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
>is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
>than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
>death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
>increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
>Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
>pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
>proportionately as
>souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
>Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
>you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
>number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
>already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
>frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence
>of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh
>my God."
>
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" .
>
>
>
>The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University
>chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
>professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
>why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
>
>
>Bonus Question:
>
>
>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
>cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
>
>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
>if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
>is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
>than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
>death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
>increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
>Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
>pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
>proportionately as
>souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
>Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
>you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
>number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
>already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
>frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence
>of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh
>my God."
>
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" .
>
